Brutal batting, brutal bowling

Picked up from the Grauniad's weekly trawl of internet sport wonders are these videos of two equally violent characters from the gentle game.

In between some fairly bizarre on- and off-field behaviour, Shahid Afridi is a combative leggie and absurdly destructive batsman.

Boom-Boom may enjoy eating cricket balls as if they were apples, but he's equally fond of swatting them like flies, as this 37-ball century indicates.



Meanwhile, the great Malcolm Marshall terrorised batsmen of all colours throughout the 80's, but his control and mastery of swing should not be forgotten among the sheer pace and hostility.

Marshall succumbed to cancer over a decade ago, but he's guaranteed to be remembered as a fast-bowling great.

Cricket's back (sort of)!

There's nothing quite like the first indoor net session of the 'season' on a midweek January evening.

The daylight hours barely long enough to fit a full cricket game; the trudge through the snow, ice and slush of the car park and into the bright lights of the hall; stand in line and try not to kill the batsman as your first couple of deliveries as inevitably wayward beamers; spend half the evening socialising with the players you haven't seen much of in the last couple of months, and another quarter talking to those you saw last night; facing your first ball you're pinned on your inner thigh as a newcomer makes an early bid to prove his worth before you spend the rest of your ten minutes ducking and weaving a barrage of back-of-a-length stuff from people beginning to find their range again on the lively indoor surface - the perfect preparation for the inevitable raging greentops of April.

Then back out into the cold night safe in the knowledge that tomorrow you'll be walking around the office nursing your back and your shoulder, complaining about your knees and the soles of your feet, whilst keeping the bruise on the inner thigh to yourself.

And you know the pain won't leave until well into next week. 12 weeks and counting until the season - will I make it?

Bring Ashes cricket back to Old Trafford

For the rest of my life I'll remember being at the last day of the Old Trafford Test during the Ashes 05. This was the day when an estimated 10,000 people were locked out of a thrilling day's play that saw one of the great escapes from Australia who escaped with a draw after England got them 9 wickets down.

I have never experienced an atmosphere like it at any sporting event and it showed what a passion the people of the north west have for the game. Liverpool, were I live is traditionally seen as a football obsessed city but I know many, many people who make the pilgrimage over to Manchester every year for international cricket and Lancashire's fitful visits to play in Aigburth are similarly regular sell outs.

From a cricketing point of view Old Trafford is viewed as a 'result' pitch too, with England having a pretty good record there down the years.

It was a great shame then that the ECB decided to take the Ashes away from Old Trafford and investigate instead, new upstarts like Cardiff and Durham. This year the ground did not host an Ashes Test for only the third time in 150 years.

On the face of it you can see why they made the decision: Old Trafford is not a particuarly pleasant place, tricky to get to and in desperate need of a lick of paint or two.

However, thankfully plans are afoot to rehabilitate the ground and bring it up to the ECB's tough new standards.

The Old Trafford Partnership comprising Lancashire County Cricket Club, Tesco and Ask Developments has submitted a planning application to Trafford Council to redevelop Old Trafford cricket ground and the surrounding area.

The £47m development would see Old Trafford hopefully become one of the best grounds in the country and more importantly for us Ashes starved northerners, secure the future of International Cricket in the North West.

There's a very good website to promote the proposals where you can pledge your support for the bid - http://www.oldtraffordashes.co.uk/index.html

Finger Lickin' Good?

It's surely a very rare occurance that cricket ever hits the headlines in the good ol' US of A.

It was after all Robin Williams who described the great game as "basically baseball on valium".

This week however, our cousins across the pond have been seriously upset by, of all things, a 20 second Australian advert for Kentucky Fried Chicken which shows an 'outnumbered' Australian cricket fan passing round pieces of fried chicken, in an effort to placate a rather stereotypical band of all singing, all drumming West Indian cricket fans.

The fan (called 'Mick' apparently) wearing the yellow and green of Australia poses the question "need a tip when you're stuck in an awkward situation?" He then hands out the drumsticks to the apperently ravenous West Indians who immediatly stop their pesky drumming. "Too easy" the smug Mick remarks.

The avert is as unfunny as it sounds but is no more guilty of racism than those awful Ashes adverts Sky ran featuring Shane Warne cooking a BBQ in the commentry box, much to the dismay of Botham and Gower (Botham, you may have observed, if you've been watching the current South African series, mentions his love of BBQs about every 10 minutes).

The Australians have always struck me as a race of people quite prepared to take the mick (Dundee) out of themselves and perhaps understandably they've come out fighting against the criticism the advert has recieved in the States.

Apparently to many in the US fried chicken remains closely associated with age-old racist stereotypes about black people in the once segregated south.

A writer at one US newspaper, the Baltimore Sun, questioned whether the ad was a spoof, remarking: "If it is a genuine KFC advertisement, it could be seen as racially insensitive."

I particuarly enjoyed the response of Professor Brendon O'Connor from Syndey University who said the association between fried chicken and ethnic minorities was a distinctly US issue.

He said: "They have a tendency to think that their history is more important than that of other countries."

Anyway judge for yourself but surely the most innacurate aspect of the ad is the unlikelyhood of this many West Indian fans being at a cricket match.....

Sky Cricket commentary team cooking TV advert

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

The best cricket team of the noughties

Sky's famously terrible commentary team has unveiled its picks for the team of the decade, echoing a rather heated discussion that took place at Sefton Park's club house a few weeks ago.

The Sefton members were pretty much universal on their choices of Ponting, Lara, Tendulkar, Gilchrist, Kallis, Murali, McGrath and Warne – leaving few other places up for grabs.

Both opener spots were heavily debated, with Hayden and Sehwag most frequently mentioned.

Trescothick, Dravid and Jayasuriya were also mentioned in despatches, but Hayden's brutality and Sehwag's sheer speed and weight of run-scoring won out. I think Tresco would have won one of the spots if he'd continued to play test cricket though.

The only other bone of contention were the all-rounder/second seamer spots. I think Kallis has to take the all-rounder spot, but I think there's room to slot in Flintoff as the second seamer to McGrath.

His ability to raise his game, inspire sides to victory through sheer force of will and destructive ability with bat and ball makes him a better choice than Pollock for me. It's not an obviously snug fit in the team, but I don't see how you can leave Flintoff out.

Picking Murali and Warne as spin twins may be controversial, but they're the best bowlers of the last ten years for me, along with McGrath.

Finally, I suppose I'd have Ponting as skipper, though I've always doubted how effective he'd be with an inferior team, something which was borne out – to my mind at least – this summer.

Below are the Sky commentators' picks, along with some thoughts of my own on the respective teams.


Hussain

Hussain indicates that he struggled over including Pollock, which may be a touch of the tedious matey banter that Sky reeks of, or may indicate that that's one of the most contentious spots.

Hussain's choice of Dravid says rather more about Hussain, I think, than Dravid.

Hayden
Dravid
Ponting*
Tendulkar
Lara
Kallis
Gilchrist
Pollock
Warne
Murali
McGrath


Pollock

"I've got for entertainers," says Pollock, which obviously explains why he's picked Kallis – perhaps the most stolid test batsmen since Sir Geoff hung up him broom handle – at number six.

Smith and Steyn also seem rather parochial choices.

Smith
Hayden
Ponting*
Lara
Tendulkar
Kallis
Gilchrist
Warne
Steyn
Murali
McGrath

Bumble

Trescothick's inclusion is an interesting one. It seems certain to me that if Tresco had kept playing test cricket he would have eclipsed Sehwag and Hayden.

Wasim seemed a spent force for most of this decade, and I don't see how you could leave out Murali.

Similarly doubtful about Steve Waugh as he wasn't one of the ten best batsmen of this decade.

Trescothick
Sehwag
Ponting
Tendulkar
Lara
Waugh*
Gilchrist
Pollock
Warne
Wasim Akram
McGrath


Sir Beef

Sir Ian proves what a hopeless administrator/manager/captain he always was, or would have been, by picking his big mate Warne as skipper.

Donald was a much better bowler in the 90s for my money.

Smith
Sehwag
Ponting
Tendulkar
Lara
Kallis
Gilchrist
Pollock
Warne*
Donald
McGrath


Athers

Athers has gone for a more mercurial team, with the likes of Jayasuriya, Flintoff and Zaheer potential match-winners in their own right.

Atherton's explanations show what a more astute skipper he made than most of the others, to my mind.

Sehwag
Jayasuriya
Ponting
Lara
Tendulkar
Flintoff
Gilchrist
Warne*
Zaheer Khan
Murali
McGrath

Gower

Rather more by-the-book, though the inclusion of Donald and Akram is suspect by virtue of them hardly playing in this decade, and certainly not to the height of their powers in the noughties.

Smith*
Sehwag
Ponting
Lara
Tendulkar
Kallis
Gilchrist
Warne
Wasim Akram
Donald
McGrath

Lament for the released

It's the time of year when people start perusing lists to see who's getting a CBE for managing to be famous, or who's getting a knighthood for managing to live long enough.

But for cricketers and cricket fans there comes the dubious pleasure of scanning the lists of the retired and released, to see who was unlucky enough to get the bullet in 2009, and who finally called it a day on a career that could have been more.

The most obvious is John Crawley, a man associated with the England batting line-up for almost a decade.

Like a couple of peers, he seemed star-struck on the big stage and never fulfilled his promise. His strength against spin was heralded as England's Ashes answer to the mastery of Shane Warne. But of never worked out like that.

Crawley got the reputation of what I remember Ian Chappell terming a 'second-innings Sid' – implying he only ever got runs when the game was beyond competition.

A stuttering career came to an end at a point where Creepy had started to suggest he could make it, but like Ramprakash he was finally discarded just as he seemed to get going.

Other former England cricketers calling it a day include Jason Gallian, most famous for throwing KP's kit out of the dressing room; Alex Wharf, another in the battery of ODI all-rounders; Martin Saggers, trusty Durham seamer and occasional England fill-in; Chris Silverwood, a rapid seam bowler who should have been so much more; Mark Ealham, chubby England all-rounder who looked like a throwback; Jason Brown, another feted England spin-bowling whizzkid during the wilderness years; Andy Caddick, one of the best England seamers of a generation; Alex Tudor, who probably should have been; Mark Butcher, evergreen in the top three for several years; Jimmy Ormond, perhaps most famous for one of the best sledges ever at Mark Waugh; and Michael Vaughan, destined for the TMS box with a new head of hair.

But there's more to it than the passing of of a few former England pros. It's the names that have graced sports pages and Ceefax screens for years that will also be missed.

Tony Frost, Jason Lewry, Chris Murtagh, Steven Crook, Stephen Adshead, Stephen Stubbings, James Pipe. Names to conjure with, though I could tell you little about any of them, bar Lewry.

All have plied their trade around the country circuit for years, and Lewry was often thought of as England material.

In the end all it comes down to is a brief footnote in the end-of-year country round-ups before their names are forgotten by most casual cricket fans forever.

Not much to show for a career perhaps, one last moment in the national spotlight before fading away to minor county or club cricket; back to careers stalled for 20 years; fading away back into everyday life.